Spider-Man: The Clone Saga- Maximum Clonage
PART 9
Writers: Tom DeFalco, Todd DeZago, J.M. DeMatteis, Howard Mackie, Tom Lyle, and Bob Budiansky
Artists: Ron Lim, Steven Butler, Mark Bagley, Tom Lyle, Sal Buscema, Robert Brown, Roy Burdine, Sam De La Rosa, Randy Emberiln, Al Milgrom, and Scott Hanna
MAXIMUM CLONAGE is the “Maximum Suckage” of THE CLONE SAGA! An anger-inducing and incomprehensible nightmare throughout!
Ranking: 1 star
Welcome to the 9th part of CLONE MADNESS dear readers, where we dive into an era of Spider-Man comics that gives Weird Al’s song I THINK I’M A CLONE NOW a whole new meaning!
When I first decided to write this series of reviews covering the infamous CLONE SAGA, I knew from the beginning that I was going to encounter some bad stories based on the information I had from other reviewers. But coming across some surprisingly good stories like THE EXILE RETURNS, WEB OF DEATH, THE GIFT, and THE LOST YEARS, I started thinking to myself that maybe THE CLONE SAGA wouldn’t be as horrible as everyone claimed it to be. Unfortunately I paid the price for letting my guard down when I read SMOKE AND MIRRORS, which was not only insulting to the character development the Jackal had undergone in the original 1970’s storyline, but also marked the official start of THE CLONE SAGA’s decline in quality. Even after that abomination however, most of the stories were still enjoyable (except for the boring AFTERSHOCKS arc), and even ones that suffered serious narrative flaws like THE MARK OF KAINE had enough good elements that allowed me to overlook the problems. But it was with THE TRIAL OF PETER PARKER arc that I finally began to lose hope in THE CLONE SAGA, as that story focused very little on the titular trial and more on fights between Spidey, Kaine, and Judas Traveller, had some of the worst courtroom scenes I’ve ever encountered in a fictional story, suffered from horrendous padding and receptive dialogue, and ended on the controversial plot twist that Peter was actually the clone and Ben Reilly had been the original Spider-Man this whole time. Not only did this revelation anger several long-time Spider-Man fans, but the scene itself was badly botched by having Peter violently assault Ben and hit Mary Jane by accident (which also received a large amount of backlash from fans) before running off into the night in despair. THE TRIAL OF PETER PARKER was so terrible that I was nearly prepared to call it the worst story of the entire CLONE SAGA. But unfortunately that statement was premature as believe it or not, the story that was published immediately afterwards was a million times worse. We have now reached what is undoubtedly the absolute worst storyline of the entire CLONE SAGA, the ultimate crapfest: MAXIMUM CLONAGE (and I’m not even kidding, that was the actual title for this monstrosity)!!!
Before I began reading THE CLONE SAGA stories, I had heard from several individuals that MAXIMUM CLONAGE was widely considered to be the most hated story arc of the entire saga. I was also aware of all the events that occurred in this story from watching Linkara’s review of it (which basically summarized the comic’s entire plot from start to finish), so I knew early on that MAXIMUM CLONAGE would most likely be the worst CLONE SAGA story I'd encounter. But after seeing how horribly written THE TRIAL OF PETER PARKER was, I desperately hoped that MAXIMUM CLONAGE would not be nearly as bad, or would at least qualify as a “so bad it’s good story” (as several of the plot elements I had researched sounded absurdly stupid and hilarious to me). Unfortunately however, I was 100% wrong on both of those hypotheses. But before I can officially begin ripping this piece of crap apart, I need to provide some information about what was occurring behind the scenes at Marvel from the writer’s and editor’s perspective. According to the information that I’ve read from online THE LIFE OF REILLY essay, MAXIMUM CLONAGE was the first of many attempts by the writers to finally bring an end to THE CLONE SAGA. The writers had originally intended to end it with AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #400, but because of interference from Marvel’s marketing department, that issue ended up being THE GIFT storyline and the saga was stretched out even further. Since the final issue of THE TRIAL OF PETER PARKER ended with the revelation that Ben was the original and Peter the clone, the writers felt that it was finally time to wrap things up and allow Ben to takeover as Spider-Man and not just the Scarlet Spider. The first signs of trouble for this storyline however came with the success of the X-MEN: AGE OF APOCALYPSE story, as the marketing department wanted to replicate that story’s success onto THE CLONE SAGA. Because AGE OF APOCALYPSE began with an ALPHA issue and ended with an OMEGA issue, MAXIMUM CLONAGE was extended to follow this format. The other warning sign for MAXIMUM CLONAGE’S failure was the book’s stupid title, which editor Glenn Greenberg stated started out as a joke rather than the actual title. The only reason I can see why the writers ended up sticking with “Maximum Clonage” was homage to MAXIMUM CARNAGE (which despite it’s flaws, was a much better story than this…). Greenberg hoped that as long as the story itself was good, the title wouldn’t hurt its chances of success too much. Boy was he wrong…
Story-wise, I should provide some backstory as this comic features the Jackal as the main antagonist, who I have not elaborated on much since the dreadful SMOKE AND MIRRORS story arc. This is because while he was featured in previous stories I’ve reviewed, his scenes were mostly reduced to subplot material that had been slowly building up to this point in THE CLONE SAGA. Following SMOKE AND MIRRORS, Ben Reilly ended up defeating the Jackal in the PLAYERS AND PAWNS arc, which led to him being arrested and sent to the Ravencroft Institution for the Criminally Insane. While he was in captivity, the Jackal managed to steal a blood sample from the super villainess Shriek, whose DNA contained traces of the Carrion Virus, a deadly airborne disease produced by the villain Carrion (who was a clone of the Jackal) that while clones were immune to, was capable of instantly killing anyone else. At the same time, the Jackal had also unleashed a third Spider-Man clone (the one I talked about in my review of THE MARK OF KAINE) to torment Peter and Ben. The clone eventually degenerated into a shape-shifting monster that was capable of altering its genetic structure on a cellular level. Following the AFTERSHOCKS and MARK OF KAINE arcs, the Jackal had escaped Ravencroft, and the third clone (now named… ugh… “Freakface”) became his right-hand assassin. The last issue of THE TRIAL OF PETER PARKER ended with a scene where the Jackal had finished perfecting the Carrion Virus, telling the third Peter Parker clone that he was finally ready to begin his ultimate plan! The Jackal also gave the clone a new name that was even worse than “Freakface”: Spidercide. I’m serious folks, they actually named this character “Spidercide”… that’s a good sign isn’t it? In NEW WARRIORS #61 (which acted as a prologue to MAXIMUM CLONAGE), the Jackal sent Spidercide to steal some high-tech equipment in order to carry out his plan.
The story truly begins in MAXIMUM CLONAGE: ALPHA, where Spidercide is sitting on a park bench in Springfield, Pennsylvania, where he suddenly opens a mysterious canister. The canister then unleashes the Jackal’s perfected version of the Carrion Virus, which kills the town’s entire population of 2,601 citizens in the span of three minutes (oh man… since this town was Springfield, that means he killed THE SIMPSONS!!!). After Spidercide leaves the decimated town with the Jackal, the story then cuts to a rainy New York, where Peter Parker is sulking on the rooftops immediately after discovering that he was a clone at the end of THE TRIAL OF PETER PARKER. As Peter continues to whine about his life being useless, Ben Reilly is out searching for him, and is also whining over the fact that he lost five years of his own life. Meanwhile on the outskirts of Springfield, the Jackal receives information that one person had survived the virus, and sends Spidercide out to retrieve the survivor. Spidercide then gets into a fight with the New Warriors, whose equipment he stole in the prologue issue, and Ben Reilly, who had received notice of the Jackal’s actions and came out to investigate. After Spidercide escapes with the survivor, the Jackal arrives in New York, where he finds Peter still whining to himself on top of the Empire State Building. Peter lashes out at the Jackal, but the Jackal easily overcomes his attacks, proclaiming that Peter is a worthless clone that has no purpose in life. The Jackal then offers Peter to join him and reveals that his ultimate plan is to (and I swear that I am not making this up…) unleash the Carrion Virus on the entire world, kill the entire human population, and replace them all with clones that he would rule over. After listening to the Jackal’s moronic plan, one would think that Peter would just punch the Jackal and go away, but instead Peter accepts the Jackal’s offer and joins him of his own free will (urrgghh… I’ll complain about that later). The two then retreat to the Jackal’s lab, where they are encountered by Ben, who wants to help Peter, along with Kaine (who was arrested at the end of THE TRIAL OF PETER PARKER, but escaped confinement when he had another precognitive vision of Mary Jane’s death). With the Jackal planning to kill the human population and replace them with clones, and the deadly Spidercide operating as the Jackal’s personal lackey, Peter acting like a whiny idiot, and Kaine conflicted over which side to choose, will Ben Reilly be able to defeat the Jackal and snap Peter back to his senses, or will he be lost in a nightmare of clones, clones, and more and more clones?!
To explain all of the reasons why MAXIMUM CLONAGE is an absolute failure would take at least a dozen or more reviews to do! The story lacks any sense of logic or connection to reality, is filled to the brim with tedious padding and cringe-inducing dialogue, degrades on Peter Parker and his entire mythos as Spider-Man, and the plot itself is just stupid and moronic when you get right down to it. As I stated earlier, this story was an attempt to end THE CLONE SAGA and resolve all loose ends. As a result, this story should have been a grand epic that focused on allowing Peter to come to terms with his status as a clone, going of to live happily ever after with his wife and soon to be born child, and permanently implement Ben Reilly as Spider-Man like the writers intended. But instead, the premise of MAXIMUM CLONAGE is instead focused not on Peter and Ben’s identity crises, but rather on the Jackal’s idiotic plans to kill the entire human population and replace them with clones. Not only is this quite easily the stupidest plan for world domination that I have ever seen in a comic, but it also doesn’t work from a narrative perspective for a variety of reasons. First of all, when did the idea of world domination ever come to enter the Jackal’s plans? The entire reason that Miles Warren became the Jackal in the first place was because he blamed Spider-Man for Gwen Stacy’s death and used cloning technology to bring her back while also getting his revenge on Spidey. How on earth does world domination fit into the Jackal’s previously established backstory or characterization (as badly butchered as was by this point in THE CLONE SAGA…)? While the Jackal states that the reason he wants to do so is to bring about genetic perfection, this explanation doesn’t make any sense as previous events in THE CLONE SAGA have shown that clones have weaker genetic structures than normal humans (Ben Reilly being the exception to the rule). The next problem is that having a villain wanting world domination is out of place in Spider-Man’s mythos. Spider-Man’s stories have always been focused on the human aspects of life, as well as the lines drawn between powers being used justly or abused. Having the Jackal want to take over the world just doesn’t fit well with Spider-Man’s universe.
Because the premise behind the Jackal’s plans is so stupid and moronic, the plot of MAXIMUM CLONAGE ends up being so poorly constructed and contrived beyond belief! As much as I complained about the padding and narrative structure in THE TRIAL OF PETER PARKER, it’s actually even worse here. At least in that story there was some logical connection to the events portrayed, even if they were horribly written or padded out. In MAXIMUM CLONAGE on the other hand, there is virtually no sense of logic or connection to reality. I already ranted about the Jackal’s stupid plans, but right from the opening scene with Spidercide opening the virus canister on the town of Springfield, all logic immediately flies out the window. If the virus is so deadly and effective that it’s able to kill the entire town’s population in less than three minutes, how on Earth does it not spread beyond the town’s limits? But quite easily the biggest example of non-logic in this comic is that mid-way into the story, the Jackal and Spidercide throw Ben Reilly into a room full of hundreds of Spider-Man clones, where he’s forced to fight them all at once. Not only are there numerous reasons as to why having hundreds of Spidey clones in the story is completely stupid (such as when did the Jackal find the time, money, or resources to create all of these clones (especially taking into account that the Jackal used to be a college professor before turning evil) as well as brainwash them and apply them with Spider-Man costumes?!), but the only reason this plot point exists was to justify the book’s idiotic title. Speaking of unnecessary plot points, MAXIMUM CLONAGE is full of them! For instance, the entire subplot of there being a single survivor in the Springfield massacre is almost immediately forgotten about following the first issue, and is only referenced once later in MAXIMUM CLONAGE, and again in another CLONE SAGA story. Some of the characters featured in the story like the New Warriors or the Punisher serve no purpose to the plot, and some like the original Gwen Stacy clone from the 1970’s CLONE SAGA is are brought in to be wrapped up but are then completely forgotten about (she quite literally walks off by the end of the comic).
The final problem with MAXIMUM CLONAGE’s plot is that it lacks any cohesive narrative focus, therefore preventing from accomplishing its goals of ending THE CLONE SAGA. Instead of giving focus on Peter and Ben’s identity crises and deciding who will be Spider-Man, the entire story is devoted to them trying to stop the Jackal, but even that plot point is horrendously padded out. It feels as if half the comic is spent in the Jackal’s laboratory, with no one simply punching the Jackal and shipping him off to the authorities, and two of the six-issues being devoted entirely to Ben and Kaine fighting the hundreds of Spider-Man clones before they suddenly all dissolve into brown goo-monsters (which admittedly does provide the comic’s funniest line, “The Jackal must have popped them out of the lab before they were fully baked;” implying that these clones are actually made of cookie-dough). This lack of narrative focus is especially prevalent in the story’s final, or OMEGA, issue as it fails to provide any resolution to the overall CLONE SAGA narrative, and wastes the majority of its time focusing on Peter and Ben trying to stop the Jackal from releasing his virus bomb on the Daily Bugle. The reason for this was that the OMEGA issue went through numerous rewrites when it was assigned to the inexperienced writer Tom Lyle, and as a result, completely failed to accomplish any of its intended goals (not to mention the fact that this single issue had to be illustrated by nine… that’s right… NINE ARTISTS in order to be released on time). To say that MAXIMUM CLONAGE fails on a narrative level is an understatement. In fact, this story was so badly botched that it ended up prolonging THE CLONE SAGA for at least another year before it was finally brought to a close. But believe it or not, all of my previous complaints aren’t even my main issues with MAXIMUM CLONAGE!
But the most glaring and offensive aspect about MAXIMUM CLONAGE in my opinion is how nearly every character is written as a complete idiot. As a result, there is literally no character for me to root for or sympathize with. The one who is the most damaged by this story is Peter Parker. Peter in this book does nothing but whine and complain in how his life is now completely ruined due to discovering that he’s been a clone all this time, and as a result, feels unworthy of existing. As I stated in my review of THE TRIAL OF PETER PARKER, my main problem with the revelation of Peter being a clone and not the original Spider-Man was not the revelation itself, but the handling of it, which is no where near as evident as it is in this story. Just because Peter’s a clone does not automatically mean that his life is over. Peter has had his own unique memories and experiences, and is just as human as any “normal” person. Heck, Ben Reilly went under the belief that he was a clone for five years, but he still found a purpose in life and emerged as a stronger and more optimistic person as a result. Because of this, I feel no sympathy for Peter’s constant whining throughout the entire story, as all it did was cause me to yell, “SO WHAT IF YOU’RE A CLONE?!” over and over again! What makes Peter’s whining even worse is that it not only causes him to abandon his pregnant wife as he feels “unworthy” of her, but he goes as far as to join the Jackal and agree to help him with his plans of mass-genocide and world domination. Just like his deal with the Devil in ONE MORE DAY, this was unbelievably offensive in my opinion as the idea of Peter joining a villain is a massive middle finger to everything the character stands for. Ben manages to be a little more likable by primarily focusing on wanting to snap Peter out of his whining, but he also whines quite a bit about the fact that he lost five years of his life because he was actually the real Spider-Man, effectively contradicting the his earlier development of accepting his past. Kaine also suffers from idiotic characterization in this abomination, as he temporarily joins him when the Jackal offers to undo his clone degeneration. To Kaine's credit though, he does leave after the Jackal reveals he lied to him, but is later convinced by MJ to go back and help Ben fight the hundreds of Spider-Man clones. This was honestly the only genuinely good scene in this comic, as he is encouraged by MJ to embrace Peter's morals of "Power and Responsibility" despite being a murderer, and he even goes as far as to acknowledge Ben as a brother and promises not to kill any of the clones. Unfortunately MAXIMUM CLONAGE does what it does best and immediately ruins this scene in the next issue by having Kaine kill several of the clones despite him earlier saying he wouldn’t (Hello? Editor?). To make it even worse, Kaine then tries to protect the Jackal, because he “gave him life,” and ends up getting killed by Spidercide. Killing one of my favorite characters in such an offensive manner caused me to hate this abomination of a comic more than I already did (fortunately though, Kaine was brought back to life later in THE CLONE SAGA and had a much more satisfying resolution to his character arc in the REDEMPTION story arc). Quite literally every character in MAXIMUM CLONAGE is written as stupid and idiotic to the point that it’s downright insulting!
Referring to Glenn Greenberg’s thoughts on the OMEGA issue, “[MAXIMUM CLONAGE] was, to put it mildly, a disaster.” In fact, a more appropriate title for MAXIMUM CLONAGE in my opinion would be “Maximum Suckage!” As I’ve stated in previous reviews, SMOKE AND MIRRORS was the story that first foreshadowed THE CLONE SAGA’s eventual failure, and MAXIMUM CLONAGE was the final nail in the coffin for the saga’s decline in quality. The plot is completely stupid and contrived, the story lacks any sort of cohesive narrative or sense of logic, numerous plot points end up being completely pointless, the artwork ranges from good to downright hideous (particularly the OMEGA issue), and the characters are written come across as so stupid and moronic that it’s absolutely offensive. But the worst sin of all is that while MAXIMUM CLONAGE was originally intended to finally bring an end to THE CLONE SAGA, it was so badly botched that it just extended the saga for at least another year before it was finally brought to a close. The only good thing that I can say MAXIMUM CLONAGE accomplished was that it finally killed off the Jackal. Fortunately, for any future story lines of THE CLONE SAGA, they won’t be nearly as bad as MAXIMUM CLONAGE was (which I would still rather read over ONE MORE DAY). And since I don’t have a quote that can fully summarize how much of a failure this story is, I’ll just end this review with lyrics from Weird Al.
"♪Part of some geneticist's plan
Born to be a carbon copy man
There in a petri dish, late one night
They took a donor's body cell and fertilized a human egg and so I say
I think I'm a clone now
There's always two of me just a-hangin' around
I think I'm a clone now
'Cause every chromosome is a hand-me-down♫"
-Weird Al Yankovic - I THINK I’M A CLONE NOW
